Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Translating Women - Part 1

What she says: "I don't want to make a big deal out of my birthday/Valentine's Day/Christmas."
What she means: "It's a big deal."
Make sure you have at least a card and some kind of dinner date.

What she says: "I'm fine."
What she means: "Watch out."
Nice exterior, effed interior. Women are never "fine" they are good, great and/or well. Be prepared because if you ask, "What's wrong?" You're going to get the next definition.

What she says: "Nothing!"
What she means: "Something!!"
Get ready to go into battle if this one's not handled with care. "Something is obviously wrong but I won't push it. I'm here and listening when you're ready to talk," is a nice diffuser for the ‘nothing' bomb.

What she says: Loud sigh.
What she means: She is frustrated or angry and will take any opportunity to jump down your throat. To diffuse it, ask if there's anything wrong.

What she says: Soft sigh.
What she means: She is content. Yay! Don't question it. Just embrace the moment.

What she says: "Please do!"
What she means: An opportunity to explain yourself. Be careful. She is listening intently and looking for the cracks in your case. However, if you provide satisfactory rationalization, everything will be okay.

What she says: "I never want to see you again."
What she means: "I want you to beg for my forgiveness." Or it can mean, "I never want to see you again." It's a coin toss.

What she says: "Five minutes."
What she means: At least ten... it's likely closer to a half-hour.

What she says: "Thanks."
What she means: Thanks.

What she says: "Thanks a lot!"
What she means: Oh boy. You're in trouble.

*The word "fine" can also be used as a way of ending an argument while getting the last word.
From Ginger on XYUL.CA

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